I arrived on the Medicine Path in 2011 after I was raped. I was twenty-three. My string of miserable cubicle jobs became unbearable, my empty social life became unbearable, my loneliness became unbearable as confusion, shame, depression, somatic dissociation, and disconnection from my intuition took over.
Due to that trauma, I escaped into the mountains and practiced dance daily, transmuting my pain with the land, moving my dissociated body, reflecting, and looking for guidance.
By God’s grace, I led myself through the challenge, made a conscious decision to reinvent my life, and cultivated the belonging I had always longed for; the longing to be known, in my most important relationship: with God.
Trauma can happen as a way to shake us out of a deep sleep, so that we wake up to our lives. Often our greatest wounds become the medicine for our souls and our great work in the world. It is an initiation of sorts.
If we have support, trauma and healing can help us remember who we really are. They call this the path of the wounded healer. This is not a path that we *want* to journey down. It is a path that finds us and nags us until we step onto it. If we don’t answer the nagging, we can be thrown into by a big life change out of our control.
Actually for me, the Medicine Path had been beckoning for quite some time. Inviting me softly through gentle nudges toward books, people and experiences. I can remember the nudges happening as early as when I was five years old.
The Medicine Path requires us to be devoted and responsible for our lives, the wave that we make.
Many people don’t hear the calls of Spirit at all.
For others, the call is still a quiet and soft whisper, as it was for me for many, many years. When you notice the call, you might wonder if you can really go there, or do that; if it would be too hard; you may fear the impact a new way of being would have on your life of comfort.
When we ignore our initiation, often something unplanned will happen to initiate us.
My human guides on the Medicine Path
In my early 20s, I was so thrilled when I found my first teacher, Pixie Lighthorse.
Studying shamanism since 2011 taught me about the unknown, the other realms, working with the spirit world, spiritual healing tools, and personal power.
Mother Earth became my teacher, and I became an apprentice to animal medicine and plant medicine (herbalism).
The women in shamanic study group held me, the youngest one in the group, with compassion and love as I navigated my spiritual development.
As a sort of graduation from our shamanic study group in 2015, Pixie arranged that we meet Sweet Medicine Nation in service of exploring the possibility of sitting on the mountain calling for a vision.
As soon as I met Sweet Medicine, I knew that she would put me on the mountain. I offered her tobacco the next day, and she mentored me for nine months of gestation before I went on the mountain calling for a vision for four days and four nights in the high desert.
One of the most profound and personal spiritual experiences of my life, I individuated from my family of origin as an adult, gained a clear felt sense of gnoing God, and being in consistent interaction with the Mystery, and I received clear messages from Great Spirit/Source/God on my purpose on this earth: My work is women’s work: women’s mysteries.
When I returned from my vision quest, I promptly followed the path laid out before me and enrolled in a doula training and apprenticeship. I’ve worked with pregnant and birthing women since 2016.
Authenticity and Personal Power
After canceling a wedding to my then fiance, I sensed that there was something about my ways of relating that was not working for me and ironically met my husband at my first Authentic Relating Night in Boulder in 2017.
I became trained in relational leadership, what strikes me as a deeply shamanic way of being and communicating, and staffed the training for two years. Over the years of practice and intentionality, my authentic relational skills have integrated themselves into every facet of my self expression, exploration, and evolution.
When I became pregnant myself in 2019, I felt like I was attending graduate school as a doula. Both of my pregnancies and home births served as yet another vision quest rite of passage. This time I was entering the portal of motherhood. Those experiences gave me an embodied sense of what it means to become a mother in the physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental realms. I honed my intuition, self trust, and personal power. This is where my Maiden to Mother work was born.
My first pregnancy was closely followed by the plan demic, when the community around us became overtaken by virtue signaling, fear, coercion, control, authoritarianism, hypochondria, group think, dehumanization, denial, delusion, terrorism, shaming, thanatophobia, unconscious trauma bonding with the government, and indoctrination of children.
A freedom keeper nearly from the beginning, I wielded discernment, asked smart questions, and saw through smoke and mirrors of the over culture using my shamanic skills. My motherly intuition morphed into a super power and motherhood changed me.
I began to more deeply examine the deep-seeded conditioning that I was subject to regarding the medical industrial system, femininity, motherhood, aging, the over-culture, and found a seemingly bottomless source of beliefs, identities, perspectives, ideologies I had learned from the over culture that were simply not true and not serving my highest good. The importance of energetic fortification and personal power became abundantly clear to me in this time of spiritual warfare.
My work on the Medicine Path
My life’s work is about freeing more free thinkers, doing what I want to do & being who I want to be (born willful), following my creative & intuitive impulse, and doing things how they have never been done before.
I am an example what infinite goodness is possible, what’s innate & *alternative* to the mainstream.
The Seer’s duty is to embody the mysteries; to draw wisdom from the earth, the realm of dreams and trancelike states; to balance emotion, intellect, and willpower.
I am a catalyst to empower mothers to trust themselves and God unequivocally, expressing their wisdom in creative legendary legacy work in their families and communities.
It is clear to me that:
- Mothers create our culture.
- The degree of mothers’ and families’ health are equivalent to the health of a culture
- People everywhere need help connecting with the natural world.
- We need to restore right relationship with ourselves, the Earth, and God.
- Girls and women need to integrate and express the sacredness of their physiology
- Allowing more of God to come through us and doing the opposite of what we’re told in a sick society is the best path forward.
I’m here to hold the space for these shifts to take place, to co-create a new reality, to allow God to come through me, and to recognize the magic of every day.